No Spend Month – Update # 2

Time for a quick update for how our No Spend Month is going.

I don’t know that it can necessarily be classified as a “No Spend Month” anymore. I would say that we are still succeeding pretty well in the eating out area. We have only eaten at restaurants 6 times in June compared to 14 for the same timeframe in May. We are down over 50%.

We went to Yorktown this past weekend for a wedding that I was in. This was also something that was planned before the No Spend Month was established so there were some expenses that went along with it like getting my hair done, dress alterations, and suit alterations for Brian that were unavoidable. I mean I guess if I was super committed I could have done my own hair but…I wasn’t. Maybe next time.

Our Wins for June 9 – 20

Jen – Yesterday morning we were out of coffee and I didn’t even want to stop at Starbucks. I just drove right by it and had a diet coke instead and avoided the caffeine headache I usually get.

Brian – He really wanted to buy a cigar a few times and used self control. Someone at work ended up giving him one out of the blue which was exciting.

Our Wins

We have successfully eaten the food we bought the grocery store for dinner instead of going out to eat b/c we didn’t feel like cooking.

Our Rooms for Improvement

Brian – Brian went out with the boys for tacos one Thursday night. Originally he was supposed to use a gift card that ended up being totally confusing and unusable (NOTE: Restaurant.com gift cards are not the greatest gifts). So my expectations were pretty high. I thought maybe he would spend like $20 and $25 max but hopefully closer to $15. The bill ended up getting split equally and Brian paid twice as much as I thought he would. To say I was upset is putting it very lightly. Livid, About to Cry, Wanting to Gnash my teeth and heap iniquities upon him is more accurate.

This leads us to…

Jen – The same week of the Taco Night Debacle, I ended up spending $14 for a foam roller for running, $25 for Bible Study snacks that I hadn’t planned on, and $8 for something else that I can’t even remember now. As I was getting angry enough to cry at Brian about what he spent at dinner, I was convicted that I had spent literally the exact same amount on unplanned things that I didn’t need to. It was a glaring reminder of how hypocritical I can be – holding Brian to a higher standard than I ever set for myself. I give him a hard time while he gives me grace every time I mess up.

We have had a few other areas for improvement this week but I don’t need to go into all the gritty details. I think we are learning how hard it can be to delay gratification, to not get what we want when we want it, and to spend conservatively for things like gifts and times with friends.

I am thankful for grace. We don’t have to be perfect. And if all we do is get our eating out at restaurants under control, I will call this month a success.

But we still have 9 days to go and I am hoping we will finish well!

No Spend Month Update - Week 1

We have officially completed Week 1 of "No Spend Month". We have not been perfect by any means but I am trying to give ourselves grace b/c we are learning and this is a trial thing. We are under grace, not the law here. So I decided to share our "Wins" and our "Learning Opportunities" for Week One.

Jen's Win

After I ran a half marathon on Saturday I wanted pizza worse than anything in the world. Brian gently reminded me that it was No Spend Month so I opted for Macaroni and Cheese instead. I figure we saved $18 at least. WIN!

Brian's Win

Brian has been invited to go out to lunch at work at least twice by people in his office and he has opted to stay back and have Spaghettio's or a sandwich. $15 saved. WIN!

Our Win

We used a gift card to buy a pound of Starbucks coffee that lasted us 10 days. We paid $12 for the pound. It comes out to about $0.50 per person per day. If we had purchased coffee at our respective coffee shops, we would have spent $20 this week. We are also learning to perfect the art of making your own coffee. WIN!

Learning Opportunities

We went to a really fun wine festival with some friends on Sunday. We had made the commitment to go prior to deciding on June being the No Spend Month. It was a really fun time and honestly, worth the $24 per person tickets but it was still money that we spent on something frivolous. Although, there was this chocolate wine that was pretty much worth every penny.

Brian bought some suits last month and the alterations ended up being about twice as much as we expected. But he needs them for a wedding we are going to this month. So what can you do.

Goal for Week 2

This coming week I hope that we will make less quick trips to the grocery store. There were a few times where we were craving something and so we went to get it instead of just making what we had. So the goal is to plan the meals ahead of time and stick to it. And to make sure we have stuff to make homemade pizza always on hand :o)

The Glamorous Life of Living on a Budget

Doesn’t living on a budget seem glamorous in certain ways? Maybe it is just me, but when I read blogs and see friends who are “living simply” I feel this longing to do the same.

So I analyze our spending down to the penny. I make excel spreadsheets and figure out that we spent 26% of our income on diapers and formula and 15% on eating at restaurants. I come up with spending reduction goals and tell Brian that we can each only spend $6 a day.

And then something happens. I like to call it the Romans 7 principle:

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

The day after I make my decree, I stop at Starbucks (because I’ll get a headache without my morning coffee) and get a breakfast sandwich (b/c we were out of

granola bars) and I tell myself it is okay b/c I will eat lunch at my desk and have soup for dinner. And then my coworker says, “Let’s go to Chick-Fil-A” and I say, “OKAY” (b/c who can turn down Chick-Fil-A???). On the way home I stop at Target to pick up something we need and end up spending $150 (b/c I need some more totes to organize baby clothes and eye makeup remover and 17 other things I did not intend to buy) and then I get home and all we have is pasta with no sauce and Oreos so I decide we really must order pizza (b/c I also have to have pizza at least once a week). And then I feel guilty for eating out so much and spending money so I just decide to not look at our bank account until it’s time to pay the bills again and I hope we stay in the black. It is a great system, Right?

As our babies get cuter and cuter (and cuter) and more fun, my desire to stay at home with them increases exponentially. And when we have Baby #3 it will become a necessity (b/c childcare costs are whack and believe it or not, working is actually pretty freaking expensive).

But in order to make that possible we have to be disciplined with our finances in a few ways:

1. We need to figure out how much money we need to live frugally but not miserably. It is okay to eat out once or twice a week. But we do it a lot more than that. For no good reason.
2. We need to actually have a budget. Like a real one. That we follow. And are accountable to.
3. We need to not spend so much money on stuff we don’t need. Like eating out. And eating out some more. And Target.
4. We need to give more to our church. I am a firm believer that God will bless us when we are cheerful givers and give as an act of trusting Him. It is really easy for me to think of our giving to God as an option when really it should be a priority. But I am admitting here that a lot of times it is not. So I want to get better at that.

I have a renewed focus on all this because we spent a little too much last month and, as a result, we are making June a No Spend Month. I heard about this from my favorite blog, Small Notebook (www.smallnotebook.org) and I am looking forward to the challenge. Basically, you don’t spend money on stuff you don’t have to (like eating out, stuff you want but don’t need, trips, activities, etc).

We have talked about it a few times but that’s all it was – talk. So now we HAVE to do it. I think it will be difficult and that a lot of our bad habits will be revealed and tested. But I know that it will be beneficial and if we can actually make it through to the end, we will be better for it. I will keep you posted on our progress.

9 Months Old!

• We have two little “Cruisers” on our hands!!! Did you know “cruising” is when they can walk around furniture holding on to it? Now you do.
• They are both pretty fast crawlers
• They can pull up to standing from just about anything.
• Eat fruits, vegetables, Gerber puffs, yogurt bites, and bread.
• Like to drink ice water out of a big cup – they sort of lap at it like a dog and then it goes all over them
• Can hold their own bottles with one hand
• Drink less formula throughout the day than they had been
• They are more aware of each other – they talk and play in their cribs in the mornings and babble some
• We have been working on the signs for “More” and “All Done”. They haven’t gotten it yet but I think they are close.
• Can sit in high chairs at restaurants
• Fight over toys
• They do this thing where they put their fist up to their mouth and turn their head back and forth and make this funny sound – if one starts, the other will follow and it is pretty cute.
• Have started getting baths together without their baby bathtub.
• Tori observed that Stephen is the more vocal baby and Annabelle is the more physical baby which I think is a great observation. I am curious to see what that will mean for their development in the future.

Annabelle

• Waves Bye-Bye – and a lot of times waves bye-bye backwards
• Plays Peek-A-Boo and it is super cute
• Smiles so much
• Gets separation anxiety from me more than Stephen
• Can walk really fast when you hold her hands
• Can stand on her own for about 7 seconds until she realizes that she is not being helped and loses her balance
• Has two little budding teeth on the bottom front (first sighting was May 16)
• Sleeps on her stomach with her bottom straight up in the air
• Can say, “mommomomomom” but I don’t know that it counts as “Mom” yet
• Crawls into my lap a lot and likes to be held.
• Is wearing 9 month clothes and has so many insanely cute dresses it overwhelms me and I rejoice at poop explosions b/c it means she gets more use out of her clothes
• Loves to be chased around. I say, “I’m gonna get you!!” and crawl after her and she just squeals with delight.

Stephen

• Looks just like Brian’s dad when he was a baby – it is creepy
• Still has crazy scientist hair and we think he has the unfortunate Armstrong hair pattern (i.e. it grows in a circle)
• Can crawl, pull up, and sit up
• Claps his hands and loves to play Paddycake
• Has taken to screaming at the top of his lungs when he is not getting attention and we are trying to figure out how to handle this
• Wakes up in the middle of the night less than he used to but it is still pretty regular
• No teeth in sight yet.
• If you put your hand over his mouth and pat it, he makes the Indian call sound thing (I don’t know a better way to describe it)
• Is wearing 9 month and 12 month clothe
• Can also say “Momomomom” and sometimes will say “Daddadadadad”. We are also trying to get him to say, “T T T T” for Tori, their babysitter, but he usually just laughs and shakes his head.

Mom

I really love this stage of the babies a lot. They are just so cute and so much fun. I literally can’t wait to wake them up in the morning or get home from work to see them. They have just become so interactive and I love it a lot.

I am feeling more and more anxious to get to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom which, at this point, cannot be a reality for at least another year and a half or so. I am praying that God will continue to provide for us. He already has provided in so many crazy ways so I don’t doubt that, if we are faithful with our money and are good stewards with what He has given us, He will provide a way for me to stay home with our kiddos.

I am going to run a half marathon next weekend -13.1 miles. It doesn’t feel like that big of a deal until I look back to January and see that I was running 4 minutes at a time and then walking. So 13.1 miles is pretty far. I am having a love hate relationship with running so I don’t know if how much further I will go with it. But still, 13.1 miles, 9 months after having 2 kids isn’t too shabby.

Joyfully

Recently one of my favorite blogs wrote an entry challenging her readers to write their joyful stories about motherhood.

Since Brian was away for the past two weeks, I was on baby duty every night and on the weekends. The thought of being by myself with them for that long was very overwhelming and scary. I knew that I would have lots of help from our awesome family and friends but at the end of the night, it was my responsibility to love them and manage them and keep them alive.

There were some challenging experiences (read - two trips to "walk around the mall" and dinner at Olive Garden that solidified my conviction that we will not be doing those things again for a very long time) but we have survived.

What I have found in the last two weeks is that I really do know my babies and I am excited and proud about that. I know their schedule. I know their cries. I know the unexplainable things.

• I know when Stephen is just so tired that he can't stand it and that Annabelle is in a clingy stage where she will follow you around until you pick her up.
• I know that in the morning Stephen will take a nap and then as soon as he wakes up Annabelle will fall asleep. Maybe I will get lucky and it will overlap for 15 minutes.
• I know that even though it seems like they don't like their vegetables or meat, they will, in fact, eat all of it if you make them.
• I know that when Stephen wakes up between 3:30 and 5:00am, all you need to do is give him a bottle - like just hand it to him - make sure he isn't wet, and go back to bed.
• I know that if you don't make eye contact with them while you are washing dishes or checking Facebook, they will play contentedly but as soon as they see you see them, they want you.
• I know that if Stephen is crying I can sing him "his song" and he will stop and smile at me real big.

I literally feel like every day I am more excited to go into their room to say "Good Morning" and I feel a little more urgent to get home to them after work. Like I can tangibly feel love grow. It is crazy.

They are just the greatest little people. I feel like watching them grow and change and learn and develop is the most exciting thing and also a little heartbreaking. Because they will never be this small again. They will never not know how to scoot or fit in to their 0-3 month clothes or be 6.7lbs again. I will never get to live the first day of their life again. But I will get to live lots of other firsts and I am excited for that. I just hope that I can savor each moment and love them better each moment and that at the end of my life, I will be able to confidently say that I did not waste this time with them.

6 Months of Loving My Babies!

I wrote this post way back in February but have been delinquent in posting it.

Month 6 in the Life of Annabelle Rae and Stephen Michael

This month, Annabelle and Stephen have really shown us some personality. I think they are definitely becoming more aware of each other. They will grab each others faces and give “kisses” on the head sometime and laugh at each other. Every once in a while it seems like they are talking back and forth or like one of them is trying to antagonize the other one. The other day Stephen was falling asleep in his swing and Annabelle kept scream/laughing and waking him up. He would whine and she would do it again.

Both babies can completely hold their own bottles; eat peas, green beans, applesauce, pears, bananas, carrots, and oatmeal. They love the exersaucers and being upright. They hate their bumbos.

Annabelle

• Does this scream/laugh that is the cutest thing in the world
• Has the best smile ever
• Has become an official daddy’s girl – following him everywhere with her eyes
• Examples: one Friday night, Brian came home while I was giving the twins their bottles. He came over and said hi to them and then went in the kitchen. Annabelle stopped eating and cried until he came back and fed her. Later that night we drove to Bible Study and Annabelle screamed the entire car ride which is very unlike her. We even stopped the car to change her diaper. Every time I would say her name she would just keep crying. Every time Brian would say her name she would scream even louder. I think it was because she wanted his attention.
• One night Annabelle was incredibly fussy. I was holding her and she was squirmy and inconsolable. I handed her off to Daddy and she stopped immediately. He tried to hand her back to me and she cried. So it begins…
• Is officially too long for pretty much all of her 3 month clothes
• Likes to have us blow in her face
• Is pushing up on her hands and knees
• Kind of does “The Worm” to get to stuff
• Reaches for toys
• Loves to grab and touch faces
• Loves when I put her fingers in my mouth and pretend to bite them
• Her bald spot on the back of her head is almost gone and her hair is coming in much lighter than we thought it would.

Stephen

• Smiles a lot
• Is officially out of 3-6 month onsies and on his way to being out of the 6month clothes. I put a 3-6 month gerber onsie on him the other day and I could barely get it over his head and then it wouldn’t snap at the bottom. I thought I was going to have to cut it off him
• HATES HATES HATES getting dressed and screams like you are torturing him.
• Is getting better at tummy time
• Laughs at Brian a lot
• Stephen likes raspberries blown on his tummy
• His legs are like giant hamhocks
• We started putting Aquaphor on him as lotion b/c he has baby eczema and now he has the softest skin ever
• Has to sleep with a lovey touching his face
• This month we started giving him a bottle in his crib when he wakes up at 5am and he will hold it, drink it, and go back to sleep until at least 6:30. This is a welcome change from bringing him in to the bed with his so we could hold the bottle for him.
• He also pushes up on his hands and knees a little bit.
• His hair is coming in really blond and after a bath he kind of looks like an Albert Einstein Teddy Bear
• One evening I was feeding the babies in their high chairs and Stephen was clearly pooping. I thought nothing of it until I picked him up to change him and realized that he had an explosion that went all the way up his back. I didn’t know what to do so I took him upstairs to give him a bath. I didn’t even know how to get the onsie off without getting poop all over his face. So I just stuck him under the faucet in his onsie but forgot to turn the water to warm so it was ice cold. He didn’t like it. We were all a hot mess. But it turned out okay.

Mom

• I can run 2.5 miles without stopping.
• I have lost 7 pounds on Weight Watchers.

Sleepy Time

I know I need to update this thing more. And I will. I think I even wrote a blog about the babies at 6 months but never actually posted it.

Anyway, I had a revelation that I wanted to share.

The thing that I hated the most when I was pregnant were all the comments about sleep.
"Get your sleep now!"
"You will never sleep again"
"Sleep while you can"
EtC

I realized that what people should REALLY say is, "Enjoy your uninterrupted sleep, catching up on sleep, and sleeping in."

I think we are blessed with babies who sleep well but I also think that people build up the sleep thing so much that I literally thought I would never sleep again. So I am pleasantly surprised to find that I actually get more sleep now on the average night than I did before I had kids.

I think part of this is the fact that I treasure it more so I will go to bed at 8:30 instead of staying up until 12:00 or 1:00 in the morning.

The thing that is hard is the fact that even with good sleepers, they don't sleep in. And I inevitably have to get up at least once every night (between 3:30 and 5:00) to give Stephen a bottle or change his diaper. It takes 15 minutes and I fall back to sleep pretty quickly but I just miss the uninterupted, lounging in bed, ability to "catch-up" on sleep when I need to. Now, if I want to "catch up" I have to go to bed earlier b/c I am definitely not going to get to sleep later.

I am writing this at 11:00pm when I should be working. So I know tomorrow is going to be hard. But perhaps, tomorrow night, I can get my sleep now.